Thirty Six Questions

36 Questions Intended To Deepen Your Relationship.

Have two copies – one for each of you.   

Take turns choosing a number you want to concentrate on in one of the three sets. 
Mark off on your list when you have talked about it enough for you. 
Complete all the items over a period of time.
You will discover more and learn to understand yourself and each other a lot better!

Set 1

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? If so, in what way?  If not, why not?
3. Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a "perfect" day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. You live to 90.  For last 60 years, do you keep mind or body of your 30 yr old self?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die? 
8. Name three things you think you and I have in common.
9. For what in your life are you most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell me your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Set 2

13. If  something/one could tell you the truth about yourself, what do you want to know?
14. Have you dreamed of doing something for a long time? Why have you not done it yet?
15. What is your greatest accomplishment so far in your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most precious and treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew you would die soon, what would you change about how you live? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Tell me 3 pluses, 2 minuses you notice about me so far: Give them to me  + - + - +
23. How close and warm is your family? Was your childhood happier than most?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

Set 3

25. Make 3 true "we" statements. For instance 'We are both…"
26. Complete this sentence: "I wish I had someone with whom I could share…"
27. What would be important for a close friend to know about you?  Share it.
28. Tell me what you like about me; here’s your chance to dare - be very honest.
29. I will share an embarrassing moment with you:  here goes…
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? And cry by yourself?
31. I will tell you something I like about you already:…
32. What, if anything, is too serious still for you, and not to be joked about?
33. If you were to die today what would you wish you had said… to whom?
34. Your house catches fire. You save loved ones and pets, what one more item?   Why?
35. Of all your family, whose death would you find most a relief/disturbing? Why?
36. I have this personal problem (share) what observations/advice do you have for me?
       What you think I might be feeling about this problem of mine?

Adapted from a study authored by Arthur Aron  -

"One key pattern associated with the development of a close relationship among peers is sustained, escalating, reciprocal, personal self-disclosure.”   Allowing oneself to be vulnerable with another person can be exceedingly difficult, this exercise  facilitates your  sharing.